Confessions

Weeeelp.jpg


So...This blog really isn't my best work. Like, at all. It started out all "OOH YES THIS WILL BE FUN FUN FUN TIMES" and Jessica was like "YES YES YESSSS" but now it's just...
We've both lost motivation?

So, yes. I'm confirming this. Fake slendyblog was fake and overly bad and EXTREMELY obvious lol

My name is Alexa, I do go by Lexi, but Steele is not my real last name. I'm not putting my real name out there, either.
Part of the reason it sounded so bad and forced was probably because I've...never really babysat before ever? At all?
I'm not fond of children in general, so...
My mom and dad are divorced, but for normal reasons. I am in New York, and my dad is in Washington. That's...probably all the truth that was put into this blog, heh. Jessica is a real person, though. My friend. Who is not a HARDCORE ANGST EMO MACHINE haha...

Yeah, Jessica and I may still use this blog for something- might as well, I mean, don't want to waste the account. Maybe just photos and other stuff that we don't want to accidentally loose. Maybe I'll use it to put up all those spamposts of photos/video clips from my walks around my neighborhood. Dunno, man. (But I'll definitely use it to comment on slenderblogs, them things da shiz and all, hehe~)
But we know for sure that we're keeping the title "Lexi's Babysitting Blog" and the pink background. The little heart hands with the operator symbol, even! Just for old time's sake, y'know?

So
Uh
Cheers and all, internets! Your blogs are spiffing and interesting, and it's a right shame that this started out horribly enough that I lost interest! I would have loved to be a part of the internet phenomenon known as Slenderman!

Regards,
Lexi

October 12, 2006
Dear diery,
School is really fun so far! A girl named Jessica just moved in, she seems really mad at everything but I think shes okay! I am going to try to talk to her more, I sit next to her so it will be easy.
the man came to visit today, too! I tried to make Jessica meet him, but she got scared and ran. This makes me sad, because the tall man is nice, even though my mom says hes an imaginary friend.
I don't think hes imaginary, but hes a friend for sure!!!!!!
-
October 14, 2006
Dear diery,
I told my mom and dad that the tall man is nice and not imaginary. Mom got scared and called the police and yelled at my dad. I dont know why shes scared, the tall man is nice! he never hurt me, all we do is talk, even though I dont remember about what most of the time. He is still nice though!
-
October 18, 2006
Dear diary,
I was spelling 'diary' wrong this whole time, whoops! That's what my mom says, anyway. She says its good that I'm keeping a diary. She says it can get my thoughts out. I think thats good.
Anyway, the tall man is with me tonight! he decided to stay over, he said. Hes right by my bed now, reading over my shoulder. I feel safe and tired and happy.
I think I'm going to bed soon. Goodnight, diary!

[scribbles all over the page]
-
November 29, 2006
Dear diary,
I'm sorry for the gap in writing! I've been busy lately, but I forgot what with. But its okay. I know it is okay.
its just the way it is!
I went out with the tall man last week. when I came back, my mom was really scared and screaming and it made me scared, but it's okay now. My dad is really cool, though, he wasnt screaming, just really really nervous. He left for a few days and still isnt back, my mom says he will though.
The tall man made me miss school, though, which Im sad about. Jessica was worried to.
I dont know why everyone is worried, the tall man protects me very well!
-
December 2, 2006
he's gone
both of them
theyre both gone
I'm sad, diary. Tonight my mom said dad isnt coming back. They're divorcing.
The tall man says he's going with my dad to make sure he stays safe.
This makes me really sad. The tall man is my friend! Its good that hes going to stay with my daddy but now I'm lonely.
I don't like being lonely.
I don't like it.
-
I'm
afraid

diary I'm afraid now I'm questioning things

I don't
Want to remember
I won't remember
I wont
I wont
I wont

[scribbles over the page]
-





































I'm remembering
No
I don't
No
No
GO AWAY

No reply.

My dad 'n I have been emailing back and forth. Menial things; How school is, my friends...When I asked him a question about him and his job, his mental condition, why he left, no reply. It's been two days now.

We've had one or two emails a day. This silence is weird. Maybe he just gave up on me? Maybe he got bored.
I dunno.

Speaking of no messages, whoever was trying to pull a fast one on me with all those creepy notes finally stopped, thank god. I was ready to call the police.

What else, what else...
Oh! In an effort to turn this blog back into what it was originally supposed to be, I took on another job with Marie's parents. They're going out of town again for three weeks, and I'll stop by after school when her cousin can't be there to watch her and stuff.
Same pay, woooo! ChaCHING!

That aside, after I stopped coming by, she got out of the hospital a few days later, so I missed her recovery. :( Now I'll be able to see her happy and stuff again <3


Oh, oh! One more thing, I found my old diary when I was cleaning my room!~ I was seven when I wrote in this thing, so right before my dad left, basically. I'm looking forward to reading this thing and analyzing my 7-year-old self's brain. x)



















(also yes I had a Winnie the Pooh diary shut up don't judge me)

So if I find anything amusing in there, I'll put 'em up. <3

~Lexi

I've been emailing back and forth with my dad.

Basic things. How's school, friends...I still haven't asked why he hasn't kept in touch.


Then I got this about ten minutes ago. I tried to reply, but yahoo error'd and wouldn't let me. The 'sent from' thing was blank, too, unfortunately.
























When my dad emails back, I think I will ask him.
This is getting ridiculous. I should call the cops or something.


But other than that, things have been quiet recently. The hospital called last night to ask who Jesse was. They couldn't find any records on her matching her description, for some reason.

I hope all this clears up and goes back to normal.

Peace,
~Lexi

Delayed

I apologize for the lack of updates. While nothing really new has occured, though I did get an email back last night.

"Yes, I would be one Charles Steele.
Alexa S.? Could that S possibly stand for Steele?
...Could this possibly be my daughter?"

Just sent a reply. "Yes! So you do remember! It's me, Lexi. Your daughter. I wanted to get in touch, so I made the effort and here we are. It's great to be taking to you, though; A little weird, but still great."

Let's see what reply I get.

Other than that, nothing new has occurred, except for (somehow) even less sleep and the little sleep I get is restless. :/

Whatever. More sleep meds, yaaaaay...

But I'm going to try to go to sleep now. Try being the key word.




~Lexi

Jesse, Interrogation, and Condolences

On an unrelated note before I start, my condolences to one such "Nathan Umbra" and his friends. He offered me help, even if I shunned it at the time, and even if I'm quite sure that I'm fine on my own, but it's the thought that counts. I didn't know him at all, and never properly thanked him for the offer.
So I suppose I am now, even if it's a little bit too late.

All right.
Time to recap the last week or so.

So basically, Jesse showed up last Saturday, the fifteenth. Late, as usual, but what do you want from her. She's Jesse.
Anyway, she shows up out of the blue, literally. Like, I open my closet door to retrieve a shirt and BAM.
Falls out of my closet.
Despite the fact that I'd just been in it a few minutes earlier to put away some stuff. Ffft, more questions...
Anyway, I obviously flip my shit and she's going "No, really, I'm okay, seriously, I'm fine," etc etc, while she's very obviously not okay at ALL. She looked even worse than when she appeared over my bed with a knife; Her black hair was a ton shorter, like boy-short now instead of that emocut thing she had before and now it was literally one huge tangle, and she was absolutely covered in bruises and scratches and had one long cut down her forearm and her clothes were all muddy and...I think it was blood. I think. I really don't want to think about that.
Oh, and she was coughing like an elephant was caught in her throat.

I ran and got cold medicine, clothes, bandages, a brush...Then I sat her down and cleaned her up. When the medicine kicked in- it helped quite a bit- she started to..."explain". I'll edit out the coughing bits to make it less chopped up.

"Lexi, you gotta come with me when I leave. It's not safe at all. We need to stick together."
I asked why and what was going on.
"It's...HIM. He's after you for some reason, and I don't know why. I think it has something to do with your dad."

My dad this, my dad that...I'd been hearing enough about my dad in the past few days. I decided to drop it and asked who 'Him' was.

She just gave me a 'duh, you retard' look. "Him. You know, Him. Come on, Lex, you have the best memory of probably anyone on the whole fucking planet, and yet I'm remembering before you. HE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME. Right besides you. And you never noticed!" She cut off here to laugh and have a long-ish coughing fit. "But really. Think back. Remember! You'll see, we can't stay here! They'll all DIE. We have to leave, we have to go, we should leave a soon as possible, maybe even tonight-"

I interrupted to ask again who 'He' was and to give me a description. She rolled her eyes and replied, "God, and here I thought you were intelligent. Him. Tall, bald, and faceless. Ya dig?"

This would be about the point that I looked horrorstruck, said I had to go to the bathroom to hide and think about it for a while and for her to stay where she was so I could talk to her, and fled the room.
Then I went downstairs and called the hospital and explained that I had someone with a mental illness on my hands, and that when the ambulance came, they should turn off the sirens, and where my room was and etc etc. I then went into the bathroom, washed my face, flushed the toilet, and went back into my room.
Jesse, at this point, was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest and watching me with these huge eyes.
(Bloodshot, I may add, if that's important at all)

But basically, I asked random questions and let her ramble for five minutes until the paramedics showed up, strapped her to a board, and left. She was screaming bloody murder the whole time, and I feel AWFUL about it, but...
She needs help. She does. She knocked her head on something, lost her marbles. She's totally lost it.

I may sound like I'm overreacting, but you didn't see her.

Also, my mom still didn't recognize her. She asked who the random girl being carted off was, so I told her that I had no idea and she just appeared and was very obviously insane.
She accepted that answer.

I hate to lie to her, but I have no idea what's going on, and this has very obviously gone beyond a practical joke.

On the subject of my mother, I finally summoned up the courage after dinner on Monday to ask her about dad.
Now, my dad...My dad is a scientist or something, I don't even really know, but he works with the military, I've heard. Anyway, when I was eight, my parents divorced. I still don't know the reason; I'd never seen them fight or even raise their voices at each other, but it was mutual, for some reason. My dad moved away to Minnesota, I believe.

All right. Enough of my babbling, here's the "interrogation" of my mom. I would type it all out paragraph-style, but this post is long enough as it is, so let's keep it short and have it a script-type format, shall we?

Alexa (me) : Mom, do you know where dad is?
Mom: ...No, sweetie, why do you ask?
Alexa: Well, he's my dad, and I would like to get in touch with him, get to know him.
Mom: sighs Alexa, I...Don't think that's the best idea.
A: Why not?
M: looks uncomfortable for a minute, then sighs again You're old enough now to know the truth, I suppose...I knew you'd come asking eventually. Honey, you dad wasn't exactly the most healthy of men. Have you ever heard of schizophrenia?
A: Yes. Are you saying he was schizophrenic?
M: Unfortunately, yes. He stopped taking his pills because they fogged his head, he told me. I couldn't risk you getting hurt, and he agreed. I tried to convince him to go back on his medication, but...He wouldn't. He said that he was going to go travel. So he did. We broke up, he left.
A: ...That was it?
M: Yes.
A: That's the WHOLE REASON you broke up?!?!? (can you tell I was yelling because over use of exclamation points/question marks?)

Basically we had a bit of a yelling match here, because really, it can't just be me that thinks that that is not a very good reason to break up? From what I can tell, that was the only reason. Is that a bit of an overreaction? Couldn't she have spoken to the doctor and MADE dad take his meds?

I don't know. I'm a bit sensitive about this, it's the reason I grew up without a dad.

I did get something out of it, though; When my mom stormed up in a huff, I happened to see her address book. So I...snooped a bit?
I found an email address; Dad's first initial (C, for Charles) and Steele, out last name. It could just be a random dude who happens to share our last name with the first initial of C, but it's worth a shot, right?

So I sent this;

"Dear C. Steele,
Would you be a Mr. Charles Steele? I am currently looking for said man, and I happened across your email and figured I'd give it a shot.
If you're not, I apologize in advance for the mistake. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Alexa S."

I sent that last night.
Let's see if I get a response.


This is getting fishier and fishier. Or, to quote a book I enjoy, "Curiouser and curiouser".






Once again, as a closing note, my condolences to Nathan and his friends. I'm sure he will be missed.

EDIT: Or maybe not so missed, according to the most recent post on the blog. Whoops.

~Lexi

Sorry about the delay. Also, Jesse's..."back".

Sorry about the delay, as said in the title.
Shit's been real.

Things I've accomplished;
Jesse DID come to visit me and "explain" things. She's in the hospital right now.

In a straightjacket. Which, honestly, makes sense, considering the crap she was rambling about.

Second; I spoke to my mom.
Don't really know what to think of that, either.

I recorded it all and I'm in the process of typing it up.
I'll post that later tonight or tomorrow. Same with what happened with Jesse.


Sorry again about vanishing. As said, things've been busy. I have an actual lead now, so...I've been looking for my dad.

~Lexi